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How To Tell Someone You Have Herpes
As a single, year-old woman, Jenna has to deal with all the usual awkwardness of dating: the weird set-ups, the butterflies, the disappointment. And then she has to have the talk. Two years ago, Jenna caught herpes from a partner who told her he was clean, insisting, at one point, that a flare-up she showed him was just heat rash. Now she has outbreaks almost every month, usually around her period or when she's feeling particularly stressed. Living with herpes as a single woman has forced Jenna to hone her technique for telling potential sexual partners: She is informative, stays calm and never attempts to make them feel sorry for her. Jenna waits several dates to break the news -- long enough that she feels comfortable bringing up something so intimate, but well before sex is on the table in any kind of real way. The rest of the time, they're rough. They run, even after months of movies, ice cream, long talks and dinners and middle-of-the-night texting," she said. For all the shame and secrecy that surrounds sexually transmitted infections STIs , they are incredibly common. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new infections occur each year in the United States, half in young people between the ages of 15 and
It took years for Davis, founder of The STD Project , which encourages awareness and acceptance of various sexually transmitted diseases, and spokesperson for Positive Singles , a dating site for people with STDs, to come to terms with the diagnosis she got at age When she was diagnosed with herpes almost three years ago, Whitney Carlson, 29, a social media editor in Chicago, had a similar reaction. The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals. Around two-thirds of people worldwide under age 50 have herpes simplex 1, according to the World Health Organization , and around one in every six Americans between ages 14 and 49 has genital herpes, usually caused by herpes simplex 2, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Both Davis and Carlson eventually moved past their initial panic and saw herpes for what it is: an infection many people have that happens to usually get passed through sexual contact.
A few years ago, back when I was regularly trolling OKCupid for dates, I received a message from a potential paramour. He'd been scanning through the survey answers associated with my profile, and one response in particular gave him pause: when asked whether I'd consider dating someone with herpes, I'd responded no. It wasn't some carefully considered stance on sexual transmitted infections, or grand statement about herpes.
Dating Sites for People with Herpes Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be
Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site including, for example, the order in which they appear. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers. Telling a date you have a sexually transmitted disease is no easy task. Many daters with sensitive health conditions have a tough time deciding when to disclose that information. Should it be on your profile?