Outcall: Hotel visits only
You must be logged in to view this content. Please click the button below to log in.Login
The moments we realised that we were dating genuinely lovely people
Looking back, I feel like an idiot, but there was a time when I genuinely thought we were dating. You admitted you liked me. You kissed me. You slept with me. I thought that made us a couple. I thought that meant we were dating. It never even crossed my mind that you only wanted a casual relationship. You looked at me like you were falling in love with me.
My boyfriend and I have had this conversation a grand total of three times over the course of our year, on-again-off-again relationship. The first time, when we were 14, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and after a few days of thoughtful teenage consideration, I agreed. The second time, when we were 16 and one week into rekindling the flame after a six-month-long break , he asked me if we were officially back together, and I said yes — immediately. Despite the fact that it ended happily, my recollection of this trajectory makes me cringe a little, because there was a very clear pattern at stake: he asked, I answered. Ultimately, though, I made the decision — conscious or not — that I wanted to let him dictate the terms of this turning point. I spoke with him about it recently, wondering aloud if it was weird I was never the one to bring it up. By letting him introduce the conversation, I knew I would avoid falling into that trap.
As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of pseudo-relationships you can be in that aren't real, bonafide relationships: You're either " hooking up " casual booty calls, probably not going anywhere or you're "dating" going on dates, getting to know each other, hopefully going somewhere. I would say my boyfriend and I were "dating" long before we were in a relationship. The other day, my friends and I were talking read: extensively gossiping about an acquaintance and her new boy. I tried to say they were "dating. What do you say if someone asks if you've been "dating" that guy you've been with the past couple of months?!
How To Tell If You're Dating, Seeing Each Other, Or Just Hooking Up
It may sound strange, but this desire was born out of pure curiosity. How did we know we were truly meant for each other? I needed hard data, and digital algorithms were the only definitive way to find out.